What Not To Watch Before Going To Hawaii

My dad and I are sitting in the living room watching shark week on netflix.
Mom: What on earth are you two watching in there?
Mom: (walks into room) Are you crazy? Why are you watching shark attacks right before going to Hawaii?!
Me: So we know how to avoid attack.
Mom: So how do you do that?
Me: Uhm, so we know how to protect ourselves or fight them off.
Mom: How?
Me: Well, you have to gauge their eyes but then you still get attacked. You could still die or lose a limb or two. I guess there’s no avoiding it if you want to be in the ocean. If the shark chooses you you’re shit out of luck.
Dad: Well I was thinking about going snorkeling but now there’s no way.

And I can’t stop watching. It’s like a sickness. I’ve been having shark nightmares and am still pretty sure I’m going into the ocean in a couple of weeks. I don’t want to wuss out even though I’m going to be extremely paranoid about being attacked by a giant ferocious fish.


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